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Jamie Gibbs

9 signs your house is haunted

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Something strange in your neighbourhood? Before you go calling anyone, you should figure out if your house is really haunted.

Haunted house

If you say yes to any of these questions, then your house is officially haunted. Congrats!

1. Does your house makes strange noises when no-one's around?

Does your ghostly visitor make themselves known by weird sounds, like footsteps on creaky floorboards:


Or worst of all - children giggling?

*shudder*

2. Is your house built on an ancient burial ground/gallows/old Woolworths?

We've all watched enough horror movies to know that you need to do your research before buying a house in case your dream home is riddled with ghouls.

Old cemeteries, abandoned hospitals - anywhere where the Scooby Gang would go for a Bank Holiday weekend is prime real estate for ghostly activity:

 

To be fair, the ghosts were living there first. No wonder they’re kicking up a fuss, with you moving in on their turf. Shame on you.

3. Do you see shadows moving across the walls?


Quick tip: If you see a shadow, do a little dance. If the shadow dances as well, it's just you. If not, it's advisable to leg it.

4. Have your pets started acting strange?

Pets are basically little furry psychics, so if they start going a little loopy, you might have a few spooks in your living room.

Just to clarify, by ‘loopy’ we mean more this:

 

 

and less this:

 

 

5. Do things move around on their own?


Misplaced items could easily be your own forgetfulness. Moved furniture could be a harmless prank.

But when this happens:

it’s time to move out faster than a zombie in a Danny Boyle movie.

6.  Do your walls ooze blood, slime or similarly disgusting goo like Marmite?

On the plus side, if you're renting, oozing walls are your landlord's problem.

7. Does your house have random cold spots?

Either you’re being really stingy with the heating or you've got ghosts, sunshine.

8. Have you felt a mysterious presence when nobody's around?

Chalk it up to bog-standard paranoia all you want, but sometimes you just know that there's someone there.

9. Have you seen an actual ghost?

A dead giveaway, this. These ghosts may take a number forms, from floating orbs:

apparitions with recognisable shapes:


right up to an encounter with a Class Four entity.

 

 

If your house ticks any of these boxes, then you've got an other-worldly infestation on your hands. It'd be wise to consider some kind of haunted house insurance* for protection against the things that go bump in the night.

*Not a real thing.

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