What is death insurance?
It’s a common fact that zombies are excluded from getting a life insurance policy, but death insurance (also known as afterlife insurance) offers that extra level of protection for the undead. This includes (but is not limited to):
- People who have been infected with the zombie virus after being bitten or scratched
- Zombies that have been created through a voodoo curse
- Exposure to radiation or chemicals that turn you into a shambling member of the undead
With a death insurance policy, you can rest in peace knowing that you’ll be covered for:
- Limb replacement – if your arm falls off or if one of your eyes is pecked out by crows, you’ll be able to have it replaced with a brand new one
- Annihilation – you’ll be paid a lump sum if someone takes off your head with a chainsaw or bludgeons you with a cricket bat
- Relocation costs – for when you need to get your family as far away from you (we all get a little peckish sometimes)
- Afterlife indemnity – pays any legal costs if you are sued for turning someone else into a zombie against their will, or any damage you cause in the attempt
Why do you need death insurance?
With almost 50% of Brits admitting that they don't have a life insurance policy, it's fair to assume that even less have taken out cover for beyond the grave. Of these, 23% said that they "just never got round to buying it", which is small comfort given that zombies don't wait around for you to get your finances in order.
Many zombie rehabilitation centres now require proof of death insurance before taking on anyone into their program. This is due to the fact that zombies are considered to be an increased risk to nearby property, livestock and people in general.
In 2012, the UK Zombie Research Division noted that 241,000 zombies were damaged due to attacks from zombie hunters.
Be sure to let your insurer know how you became a zombie, as some providers offer limited cover to those that are under a voodoo curse or have become infected with a rage virus (and will not pay out once you’ve been cured)
Zombie Tips: a handbook for the recently deceased
Being dead doesn’t have to be a drag (though your feet may drag a little). Here are some handy tips to help you cope with being a zombie:
- Stay away from abandoned farm houses, empty shopping centres and pubs called “The Winchester”. Chances are there are a group of seasoned zombie slayers ready to take off your head
- Find local zombies in your area – check out our Home Sweet Zombie tool and find some company
- There's safety in numbers. A lone zombie is a liability; a group of zombies is a horde.
- It’s worth taking out a death insurance policy before you become a zombie, as it’s difficult to use a phone or computer when all you can do is shuffle around, moan and eat people
Why get a death quote from Confused.com?
With over a decade of experience in insurance, and with a team of zombie experts at hand, Confused.com has your best interests to heart in finding you our best deals.
Whether you want to reintegrate yourself into society or just sit around eating brains all day, we’ll aim to provide expert advice and peace of mind for your undead needs.
Confused.com Death Insurance is arranged and administered by Romero Boyle & Wright Services Ltd. Registered office; Floor 2, Monroeville Mall, Winchester Avenue, London.
*There is no such thing as death insurance for zombies. This is just a bit of fun. Happy Halloween from all at Confused.com!