The zombie apocalypse is already upon us. Social media has turned many of us into drones. We've checked out of the real world to obsessively, compulsively, and often unwittingly check our various accounts. Have you seen one of these social media zombies walking among us?
Get the code
It’s scary, but it’s true: The zombie apocalypse is already upon us. Social media has turned many of us into drones. We’ve checked out of the real world to obsessively, compulsively, and often unwittingly check our various accounts. Have you seen one of these social media zombies walking among us?
The Baby-Obsessed Zombie
This zombie can’t stop compulsively posting statuses about their child.
Terrifying ultrasound profile photos
Barrage of requests to vote for their baby in creepy infant photo contests
Constant references to child’s sidekick Sophie the Giraffe
Feeds On: The lifeblood of their childless, unmarried friends.
The Check-In Zombie
The easiest zombie to elude, this one always lets you know where they’re at.
Checks in at “Zombieland”
Checks in at “The Most Comfortable Bed in the World”
Checks in at “Right Behind You”
Feeds On: Tagging friends who refuse to check in to places.
The Inner Dialogue Zombie
This one can’t help but express every single thought that enters their brain.
“Where is everyone?”
“Did my face always look like this?”
Feeds On: The minutia of everyday life.
The Foodie Zombie
These zombies run in packs and linger around hip food trucks and new gastropubs.
Mindlessly document every meal and beverage
Sits silently in restaurants, entranced by their smartphone
Not satisfied by a meal until it’s liked by at least 5 followers
Feeds On: Double-digit likes on their brunch pics.
The Foot Photo Fetish Zombie
These zombies compulsively set up the perfect vista shot to show you where their feet have been.
Frequent falls and runs into things due to constant downward gaze
Fancy footwear ready for a photo op
Never far from a hammock, ottoman, or chaise set up for a shot
Feeds On: Groupons for cheap pedicures.
The Zombie Bride
This zombie can’t stop pinning over-the-top favor ideas, save-the-date designs, and color palettes.
Covered in chalkboard paint
Armed with a hot glue gun and broken mason jars
Shrieks when they spot a new hair tutorial
Feeds On: Cake tasters and the mediocre nuptials of couples who married before Pinterest.
The Mini-Me Zombie
This zombie compulsively seeks out and pins anything miniaturized.
Never seen out without mini muffin pans
Tries to shrink everything in sight
Followed around by a mini horse and miniature Poodle
Feeds On: Mini quiches, bite-size caprese salads, and gazpacho shots.
Your bio is currently empty. Now is a great time to fill in your profile.
This profile is private.
This profile is only shared with friends.
This profile is under review.
We were unable to request friendship with this user.
We were unable to request friendship with this user. Are you logged in?
Your friendship request has been sent to this user.
We were unable to terminate friendship with this user.
We were unable to terminate friendship with this user. Are you logged in?
You are no longer friends with this user.
We were unable to ignore this user.
We were unable to ignore this user. Are you logged in?
This user is now ignored.
We were unable to stop ignoring this user.
We were unable to stop ignoring this user. Are you logged in?
This user is no longer ignored.
We encountered a problem recommending this user.
You have recommended this user.
Please limit your comment length to less than 2000 characters.
What Do You Think?
Thanks for submitting your comment. It will appear after editor approval.
We were unable to post your comment to Twitter.
We were unable to post your comment to Facebook.
We were unable to post your comment to LinkedIn.
We restrict rapid posting of multiple comments for quality reasons. You have already posted a comment within the last several seconds. Please try again later.
We limit the number of comments, reviews, and postings an individual user can submit over a given period for quality reasons. You have currently reached that limit. Please try resubmitting your comment again later.
We are unable to add your comment at this time.
We are unable to add your comment. Are you logged in?
We will not add your comment until you remove the following words: .
We're sorry, but the comment you are replying to has been removed from the site.
Please let us know what you think.
Please shorten your comment to characters.
characters left character left characters must be removed character must be removed
To leave a comment, you need to sign up.
Write a reply
We're sorry. We were unable to report abuse at this time.
We limit the number of reactions an individual user can submit over a given period for quality reasons. You have currently reached that limit. Please try resubmitting your abuse report again later.
Comment is too long. Enter 500 characters or less.
You may send this to 5 e-mail addresses. Please separate each address with a space.
We're sorry, but the item you are sending has been removed from the site.
We're sorry. We were unable to send the email at this time.
Please specify a recipient.
You can only send messages to 5 addresses at a time.
The address "" is not valid.
Please specify a subject.
Score vote upvotes up vote downvotes down
Visit our creepy corner
Get a quote
© Copyright 2008 - 2015 Confused.com. All rights reserved.
3rd Floor, Greyfriars House, Greyfriars Road,
Confused.com is a trading name of Inspop.com Limited and is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority