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Dan Izzard

8 intensely satisfying ways we all love to find parking spots


You know you enjoy it when you pull off the most unexpected of parking manoeuvres. Everyone has their favourite.


The Shift Worker

A delicate dance around a full supermarket car park. Why did you leave it so late to do the big shop on a Sunday?! But wait, someone pulls out of a space right in front of you.

As they pull out of the space you slip in and are manhandling avocados before they’ve even left the car park. Satisfyingly efficient.

Satisfaction Level: 6/10


The Ambassador

Not a space to be seen. The sign said full, but you took a risk because you’re a maverick. You spy a couple struggling along the pavement laden with shopping.

Surely this is the end of their day. Your parking senses are tingling and you slow to a crawl.

Then out come the keys! Their central locking is music to your ears. You’ve seen them, they’ve seen you, and everyone's a winner.

Satisfaction level: 4/10

chocolate cog

The Detective

You’re better than the average parking spot spotter. Hawk like vision scanning the horizon. You’ve expertly spied an empty space! But how?! Elementary my dear Watson.

A reflection in the window of a nearby newsagent indicated that there was a space behind an obstructing van.

Satisfaction Level: 6/10

benedict cumberbatch

The Game of Musical Chairs

Much like the ‘Shift Worker’ but with the added complication that you are one of many drivers looking for a space.

You were in the right place at the right time when the moving stopped though. Some call it fate. This particular ‘method’ is best combined with the next item in the list for maximum satisfaction.

Satisfaction level: 7/10

chair dance

The Music Video

You’ve been listening to that Mumford and Sons song with all the banjo bits and it’s become your song. It just says so much about what’s going on in your life right now.

That’s why you get a special kind of satisfaction when you swing into a parking spot and the song finishes just as you take the key from the ignition.

Satisfaction Level: 8/10

dancing girl

The Ice-Man

It’s raining, it’s dark, it’s rush hour, and you're attempting to reverse parallel park in a spot that if on a ski resort, would be a black run. Parking level - expert.

You absolutely nail it first time. Cool as ice.

Satisfaction Level: 9/10

tom cruise

The Rendezvous

The holy grail of parking satisfaction. You’ll never guess what! Miles from home and you’ve only gone and parked next to your neighbours car!

I mean, yes, you have seen it a thousand times on your road, but here! What are the chances?!

Satisfaction Level 4/10

high five

The Good Samaritan

Proving that giving is better than receiving. There’s still nearly 3 hours left on your parking ticket. It’s only a few £s worth but this is about more than money.

This society is too often about taking and this is your chance to give something back. Go forth as a new person and give this momentous gift.

Satisfaction Level 5/10

ulrich bachman

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