By Stephen Jones
South Africa 2010 is just weeks away, and that means it’s time to start making those crucial preparations. If you’re anything like me, you’ll want nothing to get in the way of the optimum viewing experience when it all kicks off in Johannesburg on 11 June. I’m thinking somewhere to escape your Mum playing her George Michael CDs, or your girlfriend wanting to cover you in make-up again. Hold on, is that just me?
Anyway, something I’ve always wanted and never been able to afford is a viewing den; a haven to which I can slip away and mindlessly watch sport and retreat into primitive manliness when it all gets a bit too much. So, I was thinking, what better time to get to finally make the dream a reality than a month of top drawer football?
Having done just a little research into the matter (ahem), I thought I’d share my findings with you all. So here are my tips for creating the perfect World Cup Den without breaking the bank.
The TV
It’s obvious, but you’ve got to get this bit right. If you’re planning on getting some pals over to support England (or if you’re Welsh, Irish or Scottish, whoever they’re up against) then a wall mount is probably the best way to go.
Currys are currently doing a top World Cup promotion if you have a little bit of cash to spare. On all TVs bought for £599 or over between 29 April and 11 June, they’ll give you a tenner back for each goal scored by England (subject, as always, to terms and conditions).
Considering that England were the highest European scorers in qualifying, this could well prove to be a pretty tasty offer if you’re willing to shell out, and for your hard-earned you could land yourself with a 40 inch viewing dream.
Or, if you’re naturally pessimistic like me, you could always go for the greener option – trade in your old telly (any brand/model/condition) and you’ll get up to £150 off a new Sony TV in a range of stores such as John Lewis and Tesco.
If you want an HD package to really watch the tournament in style, you’d better move fast. Sky and Virgin Media are offering ever-changing package deals with HD boxes included; the maximum delivery times are 7 days from purchase for Sky and 14 days for Virgin, so if you want them in time for the big kick off, you’d better move fast!
The Fridge
Alcoholic or otherwise, cold drinks are an absolute must to keep you from getting overheated when it all gets nervy. If you’re really willing to go all out for indulgence, Argos are offering this swish drinks chiller for a gentleman’s £179.89. Those of us a little lower down the pay scale can enjoy this nationalistic effort for around a quarter of that price on eBay (item no longer available).
Otherwise, you could just do what I’ll be doing: Get an empty bin, three bags of ice and a crate of your beverage of choice. Job’s a good’un.
The Chair
Another big part of your den will inevitably be your throne, known in my abode as The Daddy Chair (admittedly, only by me).
You could drag in your old armchair from indoors, carefully grooved into the shape of your behind after years of craftsmanship. Alternatively, Browns are offering every man’s lounging dream – the La-z-boy recliner – with some added World Cup incentives if you shell out more than a grand on one during May (offer no longer available). There’s also this intriguing surround sound chair, priced at a more achievable £199.95 for those hoping to soak in the matchday atmosphere.
However, for something a little more jingoistic (not to mention wallet-friendly), Halfords have this World Cup England Camp Chair 2010 (item no longer available). While it’s pretty much just a camp chair with the flag of St George pasted on, it does have *a drinks holder*. The ultimate indulgence – you don’t even have to wear one of those ridiculous beer hats or, dare I say it, hold your own drink!
PS – if you fancy a chuckle by making your mates look really silly, there’s always this “must have for every England fan” that I found on eBay (tragically, item no longer available).
The Games and Gadgets
So you’ve got all the essentials – now is the time to add those finishing touches that can transform your den from Gresty Road to Wembley Stadium.
First off, you need entertainment during that mind-numbing half-time punditry. As Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson exchange platitudes, you and your mates could be playing table top pool, table football or even throwing a few arrows at a picture of this year’s World Cup villain, whoever it turns out to be. To complete the home pub feel, this little gizmo can even let you dispense the drinks in true barman style.
If you’re feeling a little more cultural, you could even tart the place up by dotting flags and scarves around and framing some tasteful footballing art, such as this Lowry print (the original was bought for £1.9 million by the FA a few years ago - item no longer available).
The Harsh Reality
So that’s it! Your complete World Cup experience, all in the comfort of your own home. And remember, as fun as it may seem, there’s no point in spending lots of money you don’t have. In truth, I reckon it’ll be a good few years before I get to live the dream - until then it looks as if George Michael will once again be soundtrack to my summer.
